we have officially lost it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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