I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
