D3 body, D1 cock
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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