Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
