so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize