So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
