was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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