Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Still dying that you shit outside
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
