4 words: hood of his car
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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