shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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