just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
