How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
