that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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