i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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