so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
