I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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