I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
