she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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