wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
