We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
