is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
