it was like his penis was on wheels.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
