mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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