how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The feeling are messing with the penis
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
