At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
