I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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