Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
