Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
