google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
