So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
