WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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