I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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