she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
