two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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