Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
