I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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