I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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