I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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