Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
