Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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