I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
