Me. At least after what I've been through.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
