I can tuck mytits in my pants
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
