White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
