I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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