I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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