Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
