just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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