sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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