How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize