Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
