So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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