I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
