.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
last night I used snow as a chaser
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
