Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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