1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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