You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
40s are totally the cure
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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